One of these is real cocaine, the other is not. Read on to find out which.
Being a shopper on the dark net markets and a creature of habit I have no local plugs, so when things go wrong; like they did last Saturday, and my postman brought nothing but bills I took the road less travelled out of curiosity as much as anything else.
Knowing that adverts for drugs are all over Facebook, Instagram and craigslist etc., I set off into the murky underbelly of the deepweb , clear net social media sites. I was expecting the majority of them to be scams and was ready, I know my drugs and so just needed to find a legit one!
Craigs List provided the richest pickings and after trawling through dealer after dealer who wanted me to transfer cash, BTC or Steam pre-paid vouchers before coming out to deliver, I finally found a guy who was willing to do a ‘face to face’, cash on delivery.
He was proud of his product in the way anyone stumbling out of a pub at 0200 looking for some additional intoxication can attest to:
I was an hour and a half drive away for him, as soon as he set off he sent me his ‘follow me’ tracking map via WhatsApp, incredibly brazen really… As the blip blipped its way across the county towards the agreed spot I went to meet him and his friend in a car park, jumped in the back and exchanged cash for ‘coke’. Almost made me feel 19 again.
The dealer enthusiastically asked if I wanted to try it. Not being that keen to hang around in this stranger’s car any longer than necessary, I had a quick smell and got an aroma of coke, certainly looked like coke and end of the day, these two unknown quantities had just set out on a 3-hour round trip to bring me my drugs. It would have taken quite some balls to turn around at that point and say, “nah, changed my mind…”.
Got home and unwrapped the eighth (Or sodding half Q if that’s what you call it), a mixture of pebbles and powder and quickly set about chopping up a cheeky line. This proved difficult as it clumped together and wouldn’t chop down. A preliminary technical prognosis indicated a hot plate was needed and so whilst I warmed up the grill (I don’t own a microwave – long story, don’t ask) I decided to wash a little up with some bicarbonate for smoking.
The action of putting cocaine into water is usually a great tell of the quality. Coke should just dissolve, quickly, completely and without any help. Any undissolved detritus left is a sign of cuts.
After a few seconds I realised this ‘coke’ was not dissolving at all. I literally had to take a spoon and smash and squash the coke until I could do no more with it. I decided to add the bicarb and heat and hope that would do the trick.
Now there definitely was some kind of reaction, a light fizzing, nothing like I’d ever seen before, I didn’t give up, knowing if all else fails, serious heat solves most problems and I was finally left with a grim sludge at the bottom and the anticipated oil on top. Great I thought! Time to cool this down and solidify the oil ready for smoking.
Cold water, then icy water, then ice, then a short spell in the freezer and I was left with an oily mess, consistency of wallpaper paste.Whether through stupidity or sheer optimism I used metal gauze to extract a dip of the gloop and gave it ago in my pipe.
Pure burnt plastic.
Trying not to vomit I spat the smoke out and started to feel dizzy immediately with a headache coming on like rolling thunder. Confirming that this was definitely not cocaine I delved a little deeper and went ahead and tried to hot plate it some more. As soon as it touched a low heat it stuck fast to the plate. I literally had to scrape, peel it off, with quite some force. I continued the experiment and added the usual amount of heat and watched it bubble, change colour and stink.
Once cooled again it set as a lump of solidified plastic.
The warning here is just how convincing the look of this product was. I did a side by side poll of our community and 75% of our community members couldn’t tell the difference on visual appearance alone. Although there was no strong smell to this substance, there definitely was a faint odour that you’d associate to cocaine (Cocaine itself is odourless). I am convinced this is synthetic cocaine, not some poorly mixed ‘bash’. I’m awaiting delivery of a new regents testing kit as mine is horribly out of date and a sample will be winging its way to the free testing service WEDINOS.
This will give us a definitive answer to what we are dealing with. If this is a new type of synthetic coke, possibly even using some sort of plastic as a base material it represents a very real and present danger to anyone who has access to these clear net sites, which is of course just about anyone. A shocking if not surprising turn of events in the cocaine world driven by vast profits, profits put before any consideration of Harm Reduction. When a gram of cocaine can command a price tag of £100 due to prohibition, it’s easy to see why so much effort could go into the alchemy and magic of creating a golden egg of viable, fake cocaine.
Don’t waste your money or your health – buy a set of reagent tests at https://www.reagent-tests.uk/, get 10% off using the code DNSTARS10. Additionally, http://www.wedinos.org/ is a free, government backed drug testing laboratory for those in the UK and often get results turned around inside a week.
The real cocaine was Exhibit B